Have you ever found yourself at a time in your life that you look in the mirror and say,”Who am I?” I have found that my titles keep defining who I am more than what is me. I am a a Christian, a wife, a mom, a worker, a volunteer, an accountant, a friend, a daughter, a sister, an aunt and so many other things. I have found it hard to say no in many of my roles. I have lost passion in my life. I have been consumed by life to the point I have lost my way.
What I want to know, is when will being Angela be enough for any of my roles. I am not domestic enough for being a wife. I am not concerned or worried enough as a mother. I can’t give enough for my brother, mother, father, nieces and nephews. I sin to much for my role as a Christian. I find myself lacking in all I do. I can’t be good enough, fast enough, organized enough, generous enough or thoughtful enough. Then there are times when I am too much! I am too bossy, talkative, straightforward, naive, energetic, demanding and on and on. I live in a delicate limbo of being too much and not enough. When will I be just right? There are times when I think that I am comfortable in my own skin. The very next day, my skin crawls in discomfort.
So let me introduce myself. I am Angela Devins, wife of Dan, mother of Abbygayle (11) and Guinivere (2). I have a degree from Saint Martins College (now University) and I am trying to find the real Angela. I am trying to find out who God has made me to be. I am trying to strip away the years of training that has told me that I am not acceptable as God made me. I am trying to find out what my father has made me for. I am trying to find a love for myself, that mirrors the fathers love for me.
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